Assertive Communication – Expressing What I Think and Feel with Respect
There are moments when we want to say what we think, but we stay silent out of fear of bothering others, looking bad, or causing conflict. At other times, the opposite happens: we speak impulsively, raise our voice, or say things we later regret. In both cases, something important is lost—the chance to communicate in a healthy way.
But… is it possible to say what I think without hurting others? Can I express what I feel without attacking or giving in? How can I defend my ideas while still being respectful? This is where assertive communication comes in.
This post will help you understand what assertive communication is and how to use it to build better relationships with yourself and with others.
1. What Is Assertive Communication?
Assertive communication is the ability to express thoughts, emotions, and needs clearly, honestly, and respectfully. It is not about imposing yourself, nor about staying silent, but about finding balance.
Being assertive means saying:
what I think,
what I feel,
what I need,
without hurting others or myself.
“Assertiveness is telling the truth with respect.”
2. Three Ways of Communicating
People generally communicate in three different ways:
Passive: I stay silent, always give in, and don’t express how I feel.
Aggressive: I impose, shout, insult, or humiliate.
Assertive: I speak clearly, firmly, and respectfully.
Assertive communication protects self-esteem and improves relationships because it does not create fear or resentment.
“Neither silence nor shouting—balanced communication.”
3. Expressing My Feelings Is Not Attacking
Many people confuse expressing emotions with attacking others. Saying “I felt hurt when this happened” is not the same as saying “you always do everything wrong.”
Assertive communication focuses on my feelings and my experience, not on blaming.
Example:
❌ “You never listen to me.”
✅ “I feel ignored when I’m not listened to.”
“Speaking from ‘I’ changes the conversation.”
4. Respect Also Means Setting Boundaries
Being respectful does not mean accepting everything. Setting clear boundaries is a way of taking care of yourself and the relationship.
Saying “no,” expressing disagreement, or asking for space can be done without shouting or insulting. Assertiveness helps protect emotional well-being.
“Setting boundaries is a form of respect.”
5. Assertive Communication Strengthens Self-Esteem
When you express what you think and feel in a healthy way, you feel more confident. You value yourself and recognize that your voice matters.
Constant silence or emotional outbursts harm self-esteem. Assertiveness, on the other hand, strengthens it.
“When I express myself with respect, I respect myself.”
6. Learning Assertiveness Takes Time
Being assertive is not always easy, especially in emotional situations or with people who matter to us. Making mistakes and learning step by step is normal.
Practicing clear phrases, breathing before responding, and listening to others are important parts of this process.
“Assertiveness is learned through practice.”
7. Better Communication Improves My Relationships
When communication is clear and respectful, misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts decrease. Relationships become safer, more honest, and healthier.
Assertive communication does not guarantee agreement, but it does guarantee respectful and constructive dialogue.
“Healthy communication builds healthy relationships.”
Final Considerations
Assertive communication is a key tool for expressing what you think and feel without hurting yourself or others. Learning to communicate with respect helps protect your emotional well-being, strengthen your self-esteem, and build healthier relationships.
Expressing yourself with respect is a way to grow well.
With care,
Dr. Arturo José Sánchez Hernández,
your friend in health promotion 💛🌿✨
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