✨ Should and Must: The Burden of Self-Imposed Rules ✨

Often, we find ourselves trapped in thoughts like "I should" or "I must": "I should be more productive," "I have to be perfect in everything I do," "I should be in better shape," "I must please everyone." These phrases, though seemingly harmless, can create constant pressure, preventing us from enjoying the moment and affecting our mental health.

What are "Should" and "Must" Thoughts? 🤔

"Should" and "must" thoughts are expressions of self-imposed rules that we often use to measure our behavior and achievements. They are rigid expectations we place on ourselves, without considering our abilities or circumstances. For example, if we think "I must always be the best," we are placing a burden on ourselves that forces us to meet standards that may be unrealistic or even harmful.

These thoughts mostly arise from internal pressure to meet certain ideals or expectations, and they can be harder to let go of than they seem. However, when we allow these thoughts to guide our decisions and emotions, we can create a vicious cycle of stress and self-criticism.

Common Cases of Rigid Thoughts 🚫

1. In Personal Relationships 💕:
   Sometimes, we tell ourselves, "I should be a better friend, partner, or child," which leads us to constantly compare ourselves to what we believe others expect from us. This "should" stops us from being authentic and enjoying relationships as they are, full of imperfections.

2. In the Workplace 💼:
   Thoughts like "I must always be productive" or "I should be advancing faster" make us feel like we’re never doing enough, even when we are working hard. This increases burnout and decreases our ability to enjoy the achievements we’ve already made.

3. In Health and Well-being 🏋️‍♂️:
   If we think "I must always be in shape" or "I should eat strictly all the time," we are imposing unrealistic expectations on ourselves that can lead to frustration or even unhealthy behaviors like extreme restriction or exhaustion.

4. In Self-Image 👀:
   The pressure of "I should be thinner," "I must be perfect," or "I should be more successful" makes us feel dissatisfied with what we’ve already achieved, forgetting all that we’ve accomplished and how valuable we are just as we are.

Why Are Rigid Thoughts Harmful? 🚨

These thoughts, although seemingly motivated by the desire to improve or do things well, actually create an unnecessary burden on our mental health. 😣 The "shoulds" and "musts" pull us away from self-compassion and acceptance, as we focus more on what we haven’t accomplished than on what we have.

Moreover, these thoughts can lead to:

• Constant stress: When we don’t meet the high standards we’ve set, we feel perpetually unsatisfied and anxious.
• Low self-esteem: By comparing ourselves to unrealistic expectations, we may feel like we are never enough.
• Burnout: The pressure of fulfilling too many "shoulds" and "musts" can lead to physical and mental exhaustion.
• Perfectionism: The need to do everything perfectly paralyzes us and prevents us from enjoying the process.

How to Free Yourself from Rigid Thoughts 💡

1. Replace "should" with "would like to" 🧠:
   Instead of thinking "I should be doing this," shift the focus to something more flexible: "I would like to improve in this." This helps you focus on your desires without putting unnecessary pressure on yourself.

2. Acknowledge What You’ve Already Achieved 🎉:
   Instead of focusing only on what’s left to do, celebrate what you’ve already accomplished. Recognizing your achievements, no matter how small, helps reduce the pressure of having to be perfect all the time.

3. Make Room for Flexibility 🌱:
   Allow yourself to be flexible and understand that you don’t always have to meet the high standards you’ve imposed. Life is not a checklist of "shoulds"; it’s full of nuances, and it’s okay not to be perfect all the time.

4. Challenge Unrealistic Expectations 🔍:
   Ask yourself, "Is it really necessary for me to do this perfectly? Can I do it in a more relaxed way and still be satisfied with the result?" Challenging these expectations will help you release the pressure and enjoy what you do more.

5. Practice Self-Compassion 💙:
   Learn to be kind to yourself. Recognize that we are all human, and making mistakes or not meeting standards all the time does not make us any less valuable. Self-compassion is key to letting go of "shoulds" and "musts."

6. Set Realistic Goals 🎯:
   Instead of imposing unattainable goals, set objectives that are achievable and healthy. This will allow you to move forward without feeling like you’re forcing or exhausting yourself unnecessarily.

Final Considerations 🌟

The burden of self-imposed rules, like "should" and "must," can be an unnecessary weight that affects our mental health and happiness. By learning to let go of unrealistic expectations and replacing them with a more flexible and compassionate outlook, we can improve our self-esteem, reduce stress, and enjoy a more balanced life. Remember: you don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be you.

With love,
Dr. Arturo José Sánchez Hernández
Your friend in promoting health 💙
Discover more of my works at: https://books2read.com/asanchez