Loneliness_2

Looking for fish? Don't climb a tree.

As proposals for healthy attitudes to overcome loneliness, it is necessary to reflect on what type of bonds are lacking or of poor quality, what is being done wrong, why those desired emotional bonds are not present, how other people have achieved them from similar conditions, what characteristics we would like the people we aim to establish affective relationships with to have, and what can be done to resolve the situation with the resources at hand.

- To achieve, organize yourself.

It is important to incorporate activities and goals that make one feel useful and good about oneself even in the absence of others, which increases self-esteem, helps break the vicious circle that arises between the deep discomfort caused by loneliness and the ineffectiveness of the procedures aimed at overcoming it, and by beautifying life makes it more attractive to share.

- Beautifying life is giving it purpose. (José Martí)

- Learn to keep yourself company.

To increase the chances of contact and communication, and therefore of starting affective bonds, it is very beneficial to visit places frequented by people with common interests and desired characteristics.

- To catch fish, go to the river.

If loneliness is due to the perception of a lack of a romantic bond, it is important to overcome the past to avoid unproductive comparisons and be able to share a life as full as possible with another person.

- It's hard to build a future with someone who hasn't overcome their past.

It is also very convenient to specify characteristics or defects with which one is incompatible to avoid future discomforts or breakups that would cause one to fall back into loneliness.

- Avoid tripping over the same stone twice.

Finally, keep in mind that to attract others affectively and obtain love, you have to give it.

- If you want to be loved, love and be kind.

- There is no weapon against kindness.

- The one who satisfies will be satisfied.

FINAL CONSIDERATIONS

To overcome loneliness, it is crucial to reflect on the quality and absence of emotional bonds, identify mistakes that hinder their establishment, and learn from those who have succeeded in building affective relationships in similar situations. It is important to define the desired characteristics in the people one wants to relate to and use the available resources to improve the situation. Additionally, incorporating activities and goals that provide personal well-being and utility, even in solitude, helps increase self-esteem, break the cycle of discomfort associated with loneliness, and make life more attractive to share with others.

It is also essential to learn to enjoy one's own company and increase the opportunities for contact and communication by visiting places frequented by people with common interests. Overcoming past experiences to avoid unproductive comparisons and defining characteristics of others that are incompatible with oneself to prevent future discomforts or breakups are important steps. Finally, it is fundamental to remember that to attract others affectively and obtain love, it is necessary to give love and be kind. These strategies not only help overcome loneliness but also promote the building of quality affective relationships and a fuller, more satisfying life.

Related entries: Loneliness I

Loneliness II. By Dr. Arturo José Sánchez Hernández.

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