Jealousy II.

Some Seek Refuge in a Beehive

As a proposal for healthy attitudes towards jealousy, it is important to choose a partner carefully, considering what is known about their habits and the visible part of their behavior, which helps avoid suffering from what one is not willing to tolerate.

-   He who marries badly always weeps.

-   He who has a bad wife is always startled.

-   Beauty without prudence brings trouble to the husband.

-   There is no heavier burden than a frivolous woman.

Keep in mind that a partner is not a possession and their personal space must be respected.

-   Even among the trees in the forest, there must be space.

Address any dissatisfaction with the other person's behavior within the framework of mutual respect.

-   Not with silence or shouting, but by talking and reaching an agreement.

-   Don’t raise your voice, improve your argument.

Be systematic with the attention given to prevent gaps that could be exploited by someone else.

-   Weapons, women, and books require daily attention.

-   Orchards, mills, and women need constant use.

-   Love is a beast that needs new nourishment every day. (José Martí)

-   The love and attention given act as a barrier in the soul of the loved one against the invasion of someone else's affection. (José Martí)

-   Tenderness is a perpetual work, a constant effort. If not, unsatisfied love will seek employment elsewhere. There is a word that sums up the entire tactic of love: dew-drop. There should always be a pearl on the green leaf: a word in the ear, a caressing look in our eyes; a moist kiss on our forehead. Whoever does not love this way will never be loved. They will fall and fall again, cry out in despair, get lost in dark abysses, and die alone. (José Martí)

If chosen well, effective communication exists and attention is given with the required quality and frequency, there is no need to worry about what the other person is doing when not with us.

-  Let’s diligently do what depends on us and remain calm about everything else.

But if despite all this there is no understanding and the discomfort is significant, be willing to leave the relationship.

-   Free yourself from the ties that harm you.

-   If love is not convenient, I should not have it.

FINAL CONSIDERATIONS

To handle jealousy in a healthy way, it is essential to choose well the person with whom you want to be, ensuring that their habits and behaviors are compatible with our expectations and tolerances. Respecting the other person’s personal space and addressing any dissatisfaction respectfully and dialoguely is crucial. Additionally, maintaining continuous and quality attention helps to avoid gaps that could be exploited by others.

It is important to avoid worrying excessively about what the other person is doing when they are not with us. And if the discomfort is significant, it is fundamental to be willing to leave the relationship to avoid greater harm.

Related Entries: Jealousy I.

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Jealousy II. By Dr. Arturo José Sánchez Hernández.

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