Forgiveness I.

It is not possible to take flight if resentment keeps you anchored to the ground.

Home Page - Spanish - Setswana

Every human being has received offenses from others, and in response, there can be a deviation into resentment, which is a lasting anger associated with the desire to harm the one considered the cause of the supposed offense or harm received.

Since the resentful person broods over their discomfort almost all the time, they keep their mind and body at high levels of tension that deteriorate their health and weaken their organism.

- Resentment shortens life.

With this, instead of causing the desired harm to the offender, they harm themselves.

- Holding a grudge is like:

  - Drinking a cup of poison and expecting the offender to die.

  - Grasping a hot coal with the bare hand with the intention of throwing it at someone.

  - Setting yourself on fire and hoping the hated one dies from inhaling the smoke.

  - Letting the one you hate live inside your head.

Their relationships with others are also affected, as they often channel their overwhelming discomfort against those who help them and have nothing to do with the supposed offense, leading to isolation.

- By offending and mistreating, we end up alone.

Generally, their face is contracted, which tends to drive others away as they feel uncomfortable, sensing that this facial expression of annoyance is directed at them.

- A tense face drives others away.

Since the predominant feelings of the resentful person are discomfort from the memory of the supposed offense and the unfulfilled desire for revenge, this is what they constantly express through roughness and hostility. This constant distillation of suffering that consumes them affects their ability to love and generate reciprocal feelings of love in others, thus pushing their own happiness away.

- If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive.

- A little bile makes a lot of honey bitter. (Spain)

- If you plant thorns, don’t expect mangoes.

- Roughness brings roughness.

Instead of focusing on building their life and enjoying it, the resentful person dedicates themselves to revenge, the opportunity for which may never materialize, and if the revenge is achieved, a great void may remain in their life. Thus, resentment is always a misguided path.

- One must be willing to abandon false paths.

- If you take a bad path, don’t expect a good destination.

It is a way of living anchored to a past that will not change, which prevents one from creatively projecting towards the future.

- You can’t take flight while resentment keeps you glued to the ground.

- If you don’t let go of the past, with what hand will you grasp the future?

It is also senseless, as while the resentful person continues to suffer, the person they wish to harm may be enjoying themselves.

- The resentful suffer while the hated one enjoys.

Sustained discomfort significantly affects the ability to enjoy life, and even the pleasures they allow themselves will be tinged with suffering.

- Sustained anger turns into bitterness.

All this results in extraordinary unhappiness.

- With resentment, only unhappiness is achieved.

Generally, the resentful person demands a perfection from others that they themselves do not possess, and that no one can have, leading to social isolation.

- In extremely clear waters, there can be no fish, and the extremely demanding man can have no companions.

- With shoes too tight, no one walks comfortably. 

- He who wants a mule without fault, must go on foot. 

It seems as if they do not consider at all the many occasions when they themselves have made mistakes and needed to be forgiven.

- Who has not needed the forgiveness of others?

- Let us forgive offenses, just as we have been forgiven countless times by others. (Spain)

The isolation and social withdrawal produced by resentment lead to a significant decrease in the chances of receiving help from others who could perfectly provide it.

- He who builds a wall ends up a prisoner of the wall he built.

FINAL CONSIDERATIONS

Every human being has received offenses, and resentment, which is a persistent anger with desires for revenge, can arise in response. Resentment causes constant tension, deteriorating health and weakening the body, thus shortening life. Instead of harming the offender, the resentful person harms themselves, affecting their relationships and isolating themselves socially. Their tense facial expression drives others away, and their constant discomfort reduces their ability to love and be happy. Resentment anchors them to the past, preventing them from moving forward into the future and enjoying life. Additionally, while the resentful person suffers, the offender may be enjoying life. This constant bitterness leads to deep unhappiness. The resentful person demands a perfection in others that they themselves do not possess, which isolates them even more. They do not consider their own faults or the times they have needed to be forgiven. This isolation decreases their chances of receiving help, making them a prisoner of their own resentment.

Related entries: Forgiveness (Second Part), Limits of Forgiveness.

Home Page - Spanish - Setswana

Forgiveness (First Part) by Dr. Arturo José Sánchez Hernández. (Rapula)

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